I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me, And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
I had the absolute pleasure of hosting a live Google Hangout with my dear friend Liz Dialto yesterday, as we dove into the topic of “How to Dance with your Shadow” – one of my favorite subjects as it’s one that I deal with on a daily basis whether in my own life or with my intuitive coaching and hypnotherapy clients.
As always, I walked away learning a lot – about myself, my work, and how I can share these tools in an even deeper way with my tribe – so I invite you to join our conversation by watching the video above, as we share stories and principles that can support you as you learn to dance with your shadow.
Here are just a few of those insights from our conversation in the meantime:
No matter how far along on our journey we are…our shadow is always there. But it doesn’t have to be something that we judge or avoid…in fact, when we start to see its appearances as something to look forward to, as a sign that we’ve expanded into something big, then everything begins to fall into perspective.
Our shadow is our own unique “dark side” – that part of us that points us exactly to where we can learn and grow and expand more fully in our lives, and mine will look different from yours (though often there are quite a few overlaps – fear has many faces but they often look alike).
For me, my shadow often shows up as a “who are you to guide others in their life” – questioning my place in the world to shine brightly and stand tall for what I feel is truth. I work through this in many ways – several of which you’ll find sprinkled throughout my blog – but what always works best for me is a consistent return to the now, with compassion and with trust, and giving myself a “fresh start” in each new moment as I allow what needs to unfold to unfold.
For Liz, her shadow shows up when she finds that speaking her truth triggers someone’s insecurity – prompting them to lash out towards her, the source of that trigger. She shares a beautifully organic process that has allowed her to dance with her shadows – a cycle that allows her to flow through each of those challenges in a deeper way each time. She calls this having a “super deep self-love, self-trust, acceptance of herself, and deep faith.”
Here’s what it looks like to stop and hold the space for the energy to move through you so you can truly Dance with YOUR Shadow:
1. Honor the shadow! Whatever crappy emotions come up, let them move THROUGH you – you are a Spiritual being having a human experience, so release that energy so it gets out of you. Express it – write it, share it with trusted friends – whatever it takes to get it out in a healthy way.
2. Put on mega-watt goggles of compassion and recognize that those negative emotions are NOT your Truth.
3. Forgive and send love. This does NOT mean that the behavior is “ok” – this simply releases the hold it has over you so you can release it. It’s not our job to know the full story of someone else’s journey, so forgive even if you don’t understand the “why” of their actions.
4. Move your body! Listen to music, get out of your head…and if necessary, repeat the above until you feel it’s moved through you.
5. Once the charge has been removed enough, create space to allow the lessons to come. Why did this happen? How can this pattern be avoided in the future? Then come back to that trust of yourself and the Universe, and that your Shadow came here to teach you the lessons you were meant to learn.
Click to tweet >> Learn to dance with your shadow in these 5 easy steps w/ @LizDialto & @SabrinaBolin << Click to tweet
Liz and I recognize that there is not ONE way – the above is simply a set of tools for you to try on and see what resonates.
We both encourage you to stay open to ways the Universe is supporting you – through people, through books, through processes that speak to your soul. The shadow dances around in our blind spots, so it’s important for us to seek with intuitive discernment those ways that we can allow our shadow to be reflected back so that we can dance with it, heal it, grow through it.
One way to really take this work deeper is through Wild Soul Movement.
Wild Soul Movement is a 12 week video-based practice that combines movement, mantra and meditation.
FALL SESSION | STARTS SEPTEMBER 29, 2014
YOU’LL GET:
ONE FOLLOW-ALONG VIDEO PER WEEK
A DIGITAL JOURNAL TO GUIDE YOUR EXPERIENCE
FOUR TOPICS TO EXPLORE
FOUR COMMUNITY Q+A CALLS
PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP
+ SURPRISES
I’m a proud partner of this program, as its intentions are so aligned with and supportive of the work I do with my clients, guiding you to move the energy through you as you surrender and release, trust and receive, dream and desire, and create from a space more connected to your inner wisdom.
Enrollment for the Fall Session closes this Friday, so if you’re ready to say yes to that intuitive nudge, join Liz here:
Wild Soul Movement – Fall Enrollment
No matter how you choose to dance with your shadow, recognize how important this work truly is…and that you’re NEVER alone on this journey, with Universe and guides to support you along the way.
“Me… and my shadow… strolling down the avenue!” I recommend that song for #1 and #4. Singing and dancing it out! Thanks Sabrina. 🙂
Ha! Yes, yes, yes! Enlightenment often begins with “lightening” things up, and a good ole song and dance routine always makes the work easier!
Thank YOU Erin for bringing your own unique energy to today’s conversation :).
hahaha that song was totally in my head as I started reading this article, too! 😉
Great minds think alike…especially you creative ones with theatre backgrounds!
i have spent much time dancing with my shadow, deep-dive journaling about my shadow, unraveling my shadow. and i do the same in my work with clients who find themselves on the other side of an eating disorder (but are still struggling with their shadow). thanks, sabrina, to you and liz, for this enlightening and positive message.
I love how you recognize the important for us as healers to “go first” – as in, in order for us to guide others through a process, we must be doing our own work to begin with!
And once we embrace that our shadow will always be with us, shadow work becomes so much more (dare I say) fun – or at the very least, enriching :).
Thanks as always for your presence and insights today, April!
Whew! Yes! The shadows… such a vulnerable, yet powerful part of ourselves to live with. When my shadow comes in, I find myself sulking and/or crying, and I take that time to calm and soothe it. My way is to watch a binge-watch a show I love (binge = maybe 2 hrs.) — and I’m big on the shows that show me love, humor, and woman/girl empowerment {Gilmore Girls + Gossip Girl are my current top faves}. This spurs my confidence, and I’ll follow that up with an awesome aromatherapy + sea salt bath, an angel card reading to get my angel guidance, and some journaling to get my awesome life path down on paper. A little self care goes A LONG way!!! xoxo <3
I LOVE your process Charlene – indulge it a little in healthy ways, bring in support (woot woot, angel team!), then express and process it on paper so you can move forward in ways that feel right for YOU!
Thanks for sharing this, Charlene – sending big love to you AND your shadow today <3.
Sabrina, this was just awesome!! I tend to listen to my shadow with crossed arms and an annoyed expression. Once the shadow has left the dance floor, I replay the exchange and ask myself what truths existed. What growth can come from the message? Was the voice my truth or my fears? Then based on the answers I arrive at, I take action. I love how you illustrated this battle. Thank you for such thought-provoking material!!
Oh the image that pops into my mind as you describe your dance with your shadow is priceless, April! And I agree – even though it’s something we learn to work with over and over again, it can still be quite annoying sometimes ;).
Your process so closely mirrors the overall mission of my work – to help women release limitations (aka the energetic charge around their shadow), strengthen their intuition (ask if it’s coming from love or fear), and only THEN take inspired action in life! It makes me so happy to see that you’ve already integrated this process in your life; thanks for sharing this and for being a light to others along the way!