how negative thoughts can help you achieve your goals

how negative thoughts can help you achieve your goals

I woke earlier this week in the middle of a beautiful forest, surrounded by birds with rich indigo feathers chirping their hellos and crisp, clean water flowing in the creek nearby.

I had just arrived on a short camping getaway with my family, taking our son out of school for a couple of days to get unplugged while his daddy had time home between work trips.

We had spent the evening prior sitting in our camp chairs around a crackling fire, roasting hot dogs and marshmallows to indulge in ooey gooey s’mores.

If you’re still with me so far, you’re probably thinking “what a perfect trip.”

But of course, it wasn’t perfect…we realized upon arriving that we forgot to change the batteries in our flashlight, so we had to rely on backup lanterns to get us around after dark. 

Of course, there was also the less than stellar sleep one experiences on the ground and the unnatural positions your back and neck find themselves in over the course of the night.

But the biggest obstacle came when my phone began displaying all the urgent missed texts and calls during our drive through town on the way to a hike, unnoticed prior as the campsite was blissfully free of cell phone reception. As the medical proxy for my dad, I had to step out of vacay mode and into high gear to coordinate with his care team and ensure everyone had the information they needed to get him through a mini-crisis.

And despite all of the above, I am so glad we went, the experience simply reminding me that this is LIFE with all of its imperfections.

When we’re in the thick of things, it’s natural for our negative thoughts to take over, but as healthy as I believe they are (and they are helpful – more on that below!), it is important that we don’t get too carried away with them.

Here is a simple process that you can use in those moments when you find yourself getting fixated on the negative thoughts around all that’s “going wrong:” 

  • Take a pause and get anchored to the present with a few deep breaths.
  • Ask yourself “What is working, even in some small way?” It might seem like nothing is working…but stay with it. Something always is. Even if it is simply the fact that you are still breathing.
  • Keep tapping into that creative and connected part of your mind that sees beyond the frustrations and disappointments in front of you, then visualize energy flowing into all that is working to amplify it in your mind. Breathe.
  • With the energy shifted, you can once again bring awareness to what wasn’t working and ask yourself “How can I accept this too and allow it to be a part of the whole?”

As you play with this practice, another perspective to weave in is the reality that it’s healthy to create expectations that include some of our fears and negative thoughts.

What I mean by this is that no opportunity, no relationship, no journey is without its messy parts, so rather than beat ourselves up for noticing the perceived flaws, we can bring gentleness to our minds, and let these moments either pass through or become useful fuel rather than zapping the energy out of our plans.

A recent episode of the podcast “The Happiness Lab” with Dr. Laurie Santos called “Don’t Accentuate the Positive” dives into this research, along with a few great processes where you can apply the power of negative thoughts.

When you learn to work with your negative thoughts and inner obstacles, you can use that energy that is freed up to create a vision that feels more aligned and rooted in reality, rather than idealized and perfect.

I would love to hear from you:

“What feels imperfect in your life right now? How can you shift your expectations to include these imperfections and bring more energy to what’s working for a fuller vision of what lights you up?”

what I believe is more important than having a clear vision for the future ?

what I believe is more important than having a clear vision for the future ?

If you are anything like me, I imagine you were dreaming big when the beginning of 2020 rolled around, setting bold intentions to expand and grow and create the life that you most deeply desire (or at least take a few steps closer to it).

Perhaps some of those dreams did come to fruition, or perhaps things didn’t unfold exactly as planned and you’re still reconciling how to navigate what has shown up for you instead.

I know this was the case for me…with our son starting school in the fall, I was excited for the hours that would open up every morning so that I could devote my time and energy to bringing my message of self-trust and emotional resiliency to those who needed it.

Despite the pandemic and wearing the hats of “teaching assistant” alongside “coach” and “caretaker” and “mother,” to name a few, I was able to take steps toward my vision…smaller than expected, but steps all the same.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned along my meandering journey in this life, it’s that staying present often invites us to allow the vision we had to change into the one that we need.

This is why “clarity” in its traditional understanding isn’t always so helpful and that having a “clear vision” for the future can be overrated.

So what is the point of all of the intention-setting, goal-getting, and vision-creation?

I believe the value of clarity is the ENERGY that it creates within us…it is the fuel that lights us up to take action toward those dreams, even if we’re not certain that we’re ever going to “arrive.”

When I was working toward completing my bachelor’s degree at Pepperdine oh-so-many years ago, I can honestly say that I didn’t know exactly what my future held.

But I did have ideas and a vision based on what felt like important goals at the time…and this vision pulled me through, day in and day out, until graduation day when I took a moment to celebrate before tuning back in to recognize what had changed so that I could create a NEW vision based on who I had become.

I asked myself:

What is going to light me up? 

What energy do I feel called to create and put forth into the world?

And then I simply took one step at a time, moving toward that new vision until it was time to shift once again.

What energy do you want to embody this coming year and what aspects of your vision activate that energy?

Focus on that energy and those parts of your vision, and you’ll be pulled to what’s next, again and again and again.

Sending love and a whole lot of hope for the year to come,

Sabrina

we are all in this together ❤

we are all in this together ❤

If you prefer watching/listening to this love note, scroll down to the video below…otherwise, read on!

I just wanted to come in with a quick love note, and share a perspective around why it is so important to stay connected, especially during times like this.

We are meant to be on this journey together, and the reason I believe that is because there is something that PULLS us to the human beings that we connect with in this lifetime.

Yet what will often happen when times start to feel a little frenetic, a little too challenging, or when we start to feel too vulnerable in our own pain and our own struggling, is that we pull our energy inward and away from those who we care about (and who, more importantly, care about us).

On the flip side, we also take for granted that even though we are in this together, there is an assumption that we’re having the same experience, and that’s not always the case. Each of us is processing in our own way, we’re carrying the weight of different things, and, perhaps, we’re experiencing joys that the people in our lives might not know about and have a little extra we can give.

If you are in a place where your cup is full and you have more to give, then it is a perfect opportunity for you to reach out and connect and give from that overflowing of energy, of capacity, and of love.

So, my invitation to you today is to reach out to someone in your life, and depending on what you need and what you have to offer, I want you to ask them one of two things:

1. If you need help, and you need some support, let them know what’s going on in your heart and ask “can you help?”

2. If you are in a place where life is actually going all right for you, then I invite you to reach out to someone and ask “how can I help?”

We came here to experience life TOGETHER…but we have to open ourselves to it. 

I look forward to hearing how this action of connection lights something up within you today; email me today to let me know:

Are you in a place to ask for or offer help today? In other words, is your work to give or receive more freely?

Then pay attention to what shifts within your life simply because you chose to stay connected, giving and receiving with the human beings who are most important to you.

Speaking of staying connected, I would love to invite you to a FREE workshop in the coming weeks on the topic of “Cultivating more Clarity in Uncertain Times;” if this is something that might interest you, let me know by clicking here or filling out the form below.



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a meditation to help you focus on what matters most

a meditation to help you focus on what matters most

how to focus on what matters

Creating a soul aligned life requires focus, but what to focus on in any given moment can elude us when we’re looking outside ourselves for the answers.

Where we get tripped up is ego takes the “formulas for success” that we see outside of ourselves in other people’s lives – and then it makes us feel bad when our process and journey don’t match.

This is especially tricky in times like these, where we are so plugged into social media and the “appearances” of success, reinforced with every scroll and click.

Trust me, I fall into this trap almost every day. When I’m not being mindful, my monkey mind begins its endless chatter of how I’m not doing enough and that if I only worked harder, I could have ALL. THE. THINGS.

But when I wake up (and thankfully, I almost always do before too long), I remember that it’s less about having it all and more about experiencing the fullness of what my unique life has to offer in any given moment…even, and especially, if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

So how do we get there? By focusing on what’s important in our lives, moment by moment by moment.

Follow along with today’s guided meditation to go within and learn a process to re-focus on what’s most important in your life:

I would love to hear from you:

What is most calling for your focus and attention right now, in this moment?

Sending big love,

Sabrina

P.S.

If you need deeper support to move through heavy emotions so that you can tap into your inner resilience, I invite you to book a “Get Calm” session with me today (now a full hour long!). Details can be found at http://sabrinabolin.com/getcalm.

4 questions to help you reach your goals (most importantly, your Soul’s Goals!)

4 questions to help you reach your goals (most importantly, your Soul’s Goals!)

Fulfill your Soul's Goals

Setting goals might be easy, but actually achieving those goals? Notsomuch.

We fail to meet our goals for lots of reasons, but often the issue starts at the very beginning with the nature of the goal itself; instead of a soul’s goal, most of us set goals based on our ego’s fears rather than our soul’s true desires.

It’s easy to get tripped up when it comes to goal setting because our little minds (aka our egos) tend to focus on what we think is important based on everyone else’s standards, which doesn’t always line up with what we really want on the inside.

Trust me, I know this all too well.

My goals for most of my childhood involved working hard at school to please my parents and partying hard right after to please my friends.

I somewhat successfully maintained this intensity and commitment to a “work-hard/play-hard” lifestyle until the straw that broke this camel’s back:

As a junior Business major at Pepperdine University, I finally got my first B…and it broke me.

In hindsight, I can see how ridiculous this was, but at the moment, all I could think about was one thing:

I failed.

I had a goal, and that goal was to always be the best student in class, no matter the price. I didn’t question this goal until years later, when that same intensity led to a constant level of anxiety and near panic attacks.

It was at this point that I finally woke up, and through my own personal journey with hypnosis and opening myself to a stronger relationship with my intuition, I was finally able to understand the difference between ego’s goals and soul’s goals.

Soul’s goals are ones that marry the being with the doing and the essence of what we desire with the clear and practical vision of the potential outcomes.

In honor of this high energy time of the year, when many of us wake up on January 1st with a sense that anything is possible, I wanted to share 4 powerful questions that can help you reach your goals (and especially your soul’s goals!).

Grab something to write on, then click play on the video below:  

I would love to hear from you:

What Soul’s Goals have you set for yourself this year?

And what came through your intuition when you asked yourself the 4 questions I shared in today’s video?

I truly believe in you and what’s possible when you set your heart and mind to it…and I know that there is a part of you that believes in it too.

Trust that the more that you tune in and you listen, the more that part of you that believes is amplified and becomes the part that is truly creating this life that your soul came here to create.

Here’s to a POWERFUL new year.

Sending big love,

Sabrina

Perfectionism can be a GOOD thing.

Perfectionism can be a GOOD thing.

Imperfect perfectionist Sabrina in PJs

Where is perfectionism (or your fear of getting caught up in it) keeping you from showing up fully in your life?

On the flipside, have you ever thought about how the light side of perfectionism has actually helped you achieve what you might not have otherwise?

I believe every aspect of ourselves contains both a light and shadow side; we live in a world of duality after all, with two sides to every coin.

When we reject all aspects of perfectionism, we miss out on the light side of this trait that can inspire us to show up more fully in our lives.

In today’s 5-minute coaching video, I share a perspective that can help you shift your understanding of your own perfectionist tendencies (along with my own personal story of how I went from spending every morning putting rollers in my hair to leaving the house with nothing but pajamas on):

After watching, I would love to hear from you. How can you change the way you view this part of yourself so that you can feel a deeper connection to every aspect of your being?

Because I believe that it ALL serves…it’s just a matter of recognizing how.

As always, with love,

Sabrina


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