do your habits support the vision of who you want to be in life?

do your habits support the vision of who you want to be in life?

sabrina running down hill in white sands new mexico

“Your identity emerges out of your habits…more precisely, your habits are how you embody your identity.”
-James Clear, Atomic Habits

When I first discovered James Clear’s book Atomic Habits last year, my brain was buzzing; this idea that we behave in ways that are aligned with who we believe ourselves to be wasn’t exactly new information, but the book presented this concept along with others in a way that clicked both intuitively and intellectually.

Beyond the book, however, what became clear to me was how important it was to take it back one step; to actually examine who we really believed ourselves to be before trying to change our behaviors.

Of course, it turns out many of those beliefs are found swimming under the surface of the unconscious.

Hypnosis and the other processes that I use in my own life and in my client work can certainly help you dive into this exploration more quickly, but you can begin uncovering these insights on your own.

Here are 6 steps to determine the habits you need to align your identity with who you want to be:

1. Anxiety is an intuition killer, so it helps to start by bringing yourself to a more relaxed state (yoga, meditation, breathwork, time in nature – there are so many ways to shift down, so I invite you to explore and find what works for YOU!)

2. Your brain is geared to answer questions, so lean into that natural ability and ask yourself “who do I believe myself to be?” so that your unconscious begins picking up on cues

3. Recognize that the language that your unconscious speaks is images, metaphors, and archetypes and then pay attention to where you notice these within yourself and the world around you

4. Write down what you notice and begin to formulate a clearer picture of who you believe yourself to be

5. Invite in your intuition and discern if who you believe yourself to be is who you DESIRE to be

6. If who you desire to be isn’t in alignment with who you believe yourself to be now, ask yourself how would you show up differently to affirm the identity of who you intend to become in this life?

The answer to THIS question will reveal the habits you want to change to begin showing up more consistently as the person you intend to be.

The unconscious isn’t always as mysterious as we believe it to be; sometimes just a bit of conscious attention can help us see what we need to see so that we can ultimately change what we’re ready to change.

And when you believe in your capacity to become the person you desire to be and start taking action toward that identity, you’ll find yourself proving it to be true in no time :).

the connection between giving and receiving (and the greatest gift you can give)

the connection between giving and receiving (and the greatest gift you can give)

It has been a lifelong journey (and I’m not “there” yet), but I have begun to recognize the necessity for balance when it comes to giving and receiving.

Yes, I LOVE to give – to my family, my friends, my clients, and my community – but oh how I love receiving too, whether that’s support, love, or the energetic flow of abundance the Universe sends my way.

And there does seem to be an energetic correlation between the two, one that I’ve noticed in my own life and my clients’ lives; the more that we give, in an open and balanced way, the more we receive in return.

But there is such a thing as giving the wrong gift..trust me, I’ve done this more often than I care to admit.

Case in point:

My amazing husband was having a hard day last week, and when we sat down on the couch together at the end of the night, I immediately became his coach-wife, giving him feedback that he most certainly didn’t ask for and definitely didn’t need.

In fact, what he wanted and needed most was simply my presence…to slow down long enough to be with him while he shared what was on his mind and in his heart.

When life speeds up, it becomes easy to want to take shortcuts to squeeze it all in, but those shortcuts ultimately short-change ourselves and our relationships with those whom we care the most about.

So my invitation to you today is to pause for a moment to ask yourself if you too have struggled with giving this gift to others lately…and beyond that, have you also forgotten to give YOURSELF this same gift of full presence too?

I would love to hear from you:

Who in your life can you offer the gift of more presence today, whether you choose to pay closer attention to your own experience or that of another

Email me or reply in the comments as you open yourself up to the gifts the Universe is sending back your way in return ❤️ 

the 3 words that changed my life

the 3 words that changed my life

3 powerful words

 

Words are powerful.

They are bridges that connect us to one another, but they also carry weight in the conversations we hold with ourselves.

Most of our self-talk is unconscious, based on the questions we have asked and stories we have told ourselves that have woven into patterns over time (some, empowering; some, not so much).

I was reminded of this just recently as I was graciously introduced by Nicole Lee in her Inclusive Life Accelerator to LaTosha Brown, an amazing speaker, activist, and truthteller.

In Ms. Brown’s powerful presentation, she led with a question that spoke so clearly to my soul:

“Who are you BEING in the world?”

YESSSSSSSSS.

All of our DOING is irrelevent if we aren’t first aligned with our BEING.

So how do we stay consistently aligned with “who we be?”

I don’t have all of the answers, but there has been one phrase that has come together for me again and again over the years to guide me back home to my deepest knowing (click the button below to learn what those 3 words are):

I would love to hear from you:

What words will you choose to shift the way that you are showing up for yourself and more fully align with who you are being in life?

Choosing love, always,

Sabrina

P.S.

I am a big believer in small actions making a big impact; here is a list compiled by Alexandra Franzen of 30 ways you can educate yourself, stand in solidarity with your BIPOC friends, fight racism, and build a better world.

P.P.S.

I was also introduced to this beautiful song through the Accelerator; close your eyes, listen, and heal.

 

 

a meditation to help you focus on what matters most

a meditation to help you focus on what matters most

how to focus on what matters

Creating a soul aligned life requires focus, but what to focus on in any given moment can elude us when we’re looking outside ourselves for the answers.

Where we get tripped up is ego takes the “formulas for success” that we see outside of ourselves in other people’s lives – and then it makes us feel bad when our process and journey don’t match.

This is especially tricky in times like these, where we are so plugged into social media and the “appearances” of success, reinforced with every scroll and click.

Trust me, I fall into this trap almost every day. When I’m not being mindful, my monkey mind begins its endless chatter of how I’m not doing enough and that if I only worked harder, I could have ALL. THE. THINGS.

But when I wake up (and thankfully, I almost always do before too long), I remember that it’s less about having it all and more about experiencing the fullness of what my unique life has to offer in any given moment…even, and especially, if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

So how do we get there? By focusing on what’s important in our lives, moment by moment by moment.

Follow along with today’s guided meditation to go within and learn a process to re-focus on what’s most important in your life:

I would love to hear from you:

What is most calling for your focus and attention right now, in this moment?

Sending big love,

Sabrina

P.S.

If you need deeper support to move through heavy emotions so that you can tap into your inner resilience, I invite you to book a “Get Calm” session with me today (now a full hour long!). Details can be found at http://sabrinabolin.com/getcalm.

When you want to distract yourself from your pain, try this instead

When you want to distract yourself from your pain, try this instead

Surrender

When life comes at us hard, we often feel like we have 2 choices: face it head on or check completely out, succumbing to distraction to avoid the pain.

What if there were a middle ground?

What if we could slow time enough so that we can process the pain with a little more gentleness, a little more compassion?

This middle road is the one less traveled; I would say that the vast majority of us opt to distract (myself included!), usually as an unconscious “protection” based on the belief that we can’t handle the intensity of the world as it appears to be.

To clarify, I don’t believe distracting is the same as consciously taking breaks from immersing yourself in the heaviness of it all.

I believe checking out from the news, the media, or even the experiences of your friends and community is important to manage your own energy.

And I also believe that an hour or two of Netflix, a podcast on a topic you love, or immersing yourself in a book are all ways that you can still take a break without fully giving in to the ego’s desire to distract and numb.

The distraction I’m referring to is the one that bypasses your feelings so that you’re either so immersed in the energy of the collective that you aren’t sure how you really feel or you’re so checked out from your own energy that you don’t recognize your pain until it starts seeping through in not-so-helpful ways.

If you have found yourself choosing distraction, I invite you to set your phone to Do Not Disturb, shut your door, and give yourself 5 minutes to touch the pain inside while recognizing your amazing innate ability to “be with what is” no matter how quickly the world is changing around you:  

I would love to hear from you:

What feels real for you now? Is there fear or pain that you’ve been avoiding, simmering under the surface? How can you recognize the impermanence of even that feeling, no matter how deep or intense it might be?

You are so much stronger than you might realize…trust yourself, and when that fails, trust the Universe is still here to support you through it all.

Sending big love as we navigate this together,

Sabrina

P.S.

If you need deeper support to move through heavy emotions so that you can tap into your inner resilience, I invite you to book a “Get Calm” mini session with me today. Details can be found at http://sabrinabolin.com/getcalm.

What to do when life lessons aren’t clear

What to do when life lessons aren’t clear

what to do when life lessons aren't clear

Have you ever experienced a challenge in your life and then found yourself fixated on the question “what was the lesson here?” after it was all said and done?

Story. Of. My. Life.

As a self-proclaimed “seeker,” I have found myself asking WHY on many an occasion…but it wasn’t until I recognized the limitations of this simple question that I was able to uncover a new level of personal growth.

In fact, asking “why” can often contribute to our own suffering because it leaves no room for surrender…and in my experience, that’s when the real wisdom comes through.

Even though I “know better,” I still forget what I know – to forget is human, but to remember again is divine, after all  – and this happened to me last month when I had a series of misunderstandings between someone I thought had shown up in my life to be my next teacher as I grow my skills working with energy.

At the end of the day, I have to be honest:

I wasn’t happy with the outcome and started asking WHY – what was the lesson here?

I found myself chewing on this question, coming up with possible “answers,” then returning back to a state of confusion.

And then I remembered:

Sometimes the answer isn’t going to be clear in my mind…but my body always knows what I need.

So I stopped asking why and instead asked:

“Even though this happened, how can I respond with more love?”

By awakening the consciousness within my body, I was able to release the “need to know” and trust that, on a deeper level, I already do.

If you are feeling stuck because the lessons you think you’re “supposed” to be learning in life aren’t apparent, I invite you to bring it back to your body…and let go.

I know life can feel like a lot sometimes, but no matter how disconnected you feel from what the lessons are, you still have the choice to surrender and trust…and with that, an even deeper knowing is possible.

With love, always,

Sabrina

P.S.

In a recent “Soul Aligned w/Sabrina” episode on my IGTV channel, I shared 4 things to do when you get triggered and want to respond with love (you can check it out by clicking here). I hope the insights I share help you to recognize that every challenge is an opportunity to expand your heart and your capacity to love, no matter how triggering it might be.