how to protect your energy for healthier relationships

how to protect your energy for healthier relationships

As I work with my clients to nurture their relationships with themselves (especially that wise inner voice that is yearning to be heard!), I believe it’s essential that I’m nurturing this relationship myself in order to be in integrity with this work.

The true aim of inner work of course is putting it into practice in our outer world, and what better way to do so than by extending the same curiosity, understanding, and loving boundaries to the other relationships in our lives.

Perhaps the intense challenges of this past year have helped you strengthen those relationships in your life, or perhaps they’ve been put to the test more than ever before.

Whatever has been true for you, I want to share a process with you today that will help you navigate the energy of your relationships by tapping into the power of your unconscious through visualization and symbolic imagery.

Here’s how it works (read on or watch the video below to learn this super simple technique):

Before you engage in any kind of connection that you know can be potentially triggering, take a quick moment to close your eyes and visualize that there is a zipper right there between your feet.

Imagine zipping up your energy, all the way up in front of you to the crown of your head, creating a boundary between your energy and the outer world.

If anything starts to come toward this boundary that isn’t helpful, picture it lovingly bouncing away…this is a very gentle and compassionate way of being with not only your own energy but other people’s stuff too (and on this journey, we’ve ALL got our “stuff”).

I would love to hear from you (no really, email me!):

As you practice this process, tell me what you notice shifting with your energy as you interact with the people around you.

The more you practice this, the more easily you will access the energy that is yours and begin releasing all that energy that isn’t…and with all of that energy freed up, just imagine what’s possible :).

what to do when you feel like you’re not doing enough

what to do when you feel like you’re not doing enough

little girl and little boy running barefoot in grass

As I’m writing this, it’s the day before our son Miles’ 5th birthday, which is a day I remember not only as his entry into the world but also as my initiation into motherhood.

I don’t often share this, but I wasn’t one of those little girls who played with baby dolls as I dreamt of becoming a mother.

I was more prone to playing entrepreneur (charging my cousin to eat at our house at my “Pig Out” Cafe), trying my hand at activism (starting my own chapter of Kids for Saving Earth when I was still in elementary school), and making plans to own my own home with a lush backyard full of trees (growing up surrounded by nature in Oklahoma set the stage for this one).

So when I met the man who would later become my husband, a family man through and through, I thought that I had to choose between continuing down the path I had envisioned when I was little OR choose this new path, with diapers and parenting classes and room parent responsibilities as my sole focus.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that there was another path; one that allowed for the diapers AND my clients, the parenting classes AND speaking out for the causes that are important to me, the responsibilities to schools AND taking care of our home.

Full transparency: making this choice to create space for the both/and in my life isn’t always an easy one, and I have had more moments than I care to admit when I feel like I’m not doing any of it well, for my family OR for my career.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from juggling these responsibilities in my life (and from guiding many of my clients to do the same), it’s that beating myself up has never helped things; it only serves to keep us stuck and frankly, pretty miserable.

When our minds get fixated on all that we haven’t accomplished, how we’re handling things wrong, or what isn’t working in our lives, we quite literally don’t have the headspace for the magic that is always there.

On the other hand, when we stop to slow down and become a little more gentle with ourselves, we bring in an expansiveness to our energy that creates space to not only soothe our weary souls, but that also invites in creative solutions we might not have seen before.

Have you paid attention to the energy that was under the choices and actions you’ve taken in your life lately?

If not, I invite you to take a little time to do that today; soften your mind and bring a little more gentleness to your experience and notice how it shifts the choices you make for yourself and toward creating change in this world.

You are not alone…there is always love waiting for you in the stillness.

Believing in the power of you,

Sabrina

P.S.

In case you missed it, or if you’ve made the conscious choice to step back from social media (a choice I support 100%, by the way!), I led a quick 4 minute guided HypnoReiki meditation in this week’s IGTV; you can watch it here, no Instagram account needed:

Click here for a 4 minute shot of HypnoReiki to soothe your mind and body

P.P.S.

This inspiring talk by Elizabeth Gilbert on Facing Fear with Compassion couldn’t be more timely and was a salve for my soul; listen to it by clicking here.

When you want to distract yourself from your pain, try this instead

When you want to distract yourself from your pain, try this instead

Surrender

When life comes at us hard, we often feel like we have 2 choices: face it head on or check completely out, succumbing to distraction to avoid the pain.

What if there were a middle ground?

What if we could slow time enough so that we can process the pain with a little more gentleness, a little more compassion?

This middle road is the one less traveled; I would say that the vast majority of us opt to distract (myself included!), usually as an unconscious “protection” based on the belief that we can’t handle the intensity of the world as it appears to be.

To clarify, I don’t believe distracting is the same as consciously taking breaks from immersing yourself in the heaviness of it all.

I believe checking out from the news, the media, or even the experiences of your friends and community is important to manage your own energy.

And I also believe that an hour or two of Netflix, a podcast on a topic you love, or immersing yourself in a book are all ways that you can still take a break without fully giving in to the ego’s desire to distract and numb.

The distraction I’m referring to is the one that bypasses your feelings so that you’re either so immersed in the energy of the collective that you aren’t sure how you really feel or you’re so checked out from your own energy that you don’t recognize your pain until it starts seeping through in not-so-helpful ways.

If you have found yourself choosing distraction, I invite you to set your phone to Do Not Disturb, shut your door, and give yourself 5 minutes to touch the pain inside while recognizing your amazing innate ability to “be with what is” no matter how quickly the world is changing around you:  

I would love to hear from you:

What feels real for you now? Is there fear or pain that you’ve been avoiding, simmering under the surface? How can you recognize the impermanence of even that feeling, no matter how deep or intense it might be?

You are so much stronger than you might realize…trust yourself, and when that fails, trust the Universe is still here to support you through it all.

Sending big love as we navigate this together,

Sabrina

P.S.

If you need deeper support to move through heavy emotions so that you can tap into your inner resilience, I invite you to book a “Get Calm” mini session with me today. Details can be found at http://sabrinabolin.com/getcalm.

How to Avoid the Happiness Trap and the Negativity Bias

How to Avoid the Happiness Trap and the Negativity Bias

Everything is Going to Be Alright Or Is It

I believe there is a shadow side to personal growth: it’s our addiction to happiness (or peace or wellbeing or…well, you name it).

In fact, when we embark upon a healing journey, we often create an unspoken expectation that everything will be on the “up and up” from here on out.

But to be human is to acknowledge both the joys and the pains of life, the light and the dark.

And that means, sometimes, we break down and cry (yep, just today).

We rage (ah yes, today as well).

We might even hurt the people we love (unfortunately that was also part of my day).

However, if we are truly being present, we don’t remain there; everything is impermanent.

Our consciousness gives us the opportunity to cycle back to our higher truth, even after honoring the not-so-pretty parts of ourselves.

On the flipside, our brains are wired to seek out danger; we have a negativity bias in place that makes it more challenging to see the good once we get into that dark place.

So how can we embrace both the joys and challenges of our day to day lives, without falling into the trap of becoming addicted to one or the other?

Click play on the video below for one simple process to honor the joys and challenges (without falling into the happiness trap or negativity bias):

I would love to hear from you:

Where is your deep need for “everything to be alright” keeping you from honoring the fullness of your life experience?

More importantly, where can you bring compassion to your experience to fully accept those moments so that the energy can move through you instead of get stuck in you?

Once you begin to consistently honor all the ways energy wants to move through you, you’ll feel more clear to hear that inner wisdom in all of its voices.

With love to support you through the ups AND downs,

Sabrina

P.S.

Curious about hypnosis? Go behind the scenes with my process as I guide Stas of Think Clever through a short trance during our podcast interview – click here to listen!

P.P.S.

Today’s message was a sneak peek of episode 6 of my weekly IGTV show “Soul Aligned w/Sabrina.” If it resonated, I invite you to click the below to join me on Instagram and get notified as soon as each new episode goes live in my feed:

@thesabrinabolin

How to release guilt (and other stuck emotions!)

How to release guilt (and other stuck emotions!)

Sabrina Bolin and Dad spending a moment together

Guilt…ooo boy, it’s a doozy.

Merriam-Webster lists a few definitions for it, but the one I’m talking about is this:

feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy

As a mother to a nearly 4 year old child and caretaker to a nearly 80 year old father, I know guilt all too well; it’s that nagging feeling that I should be to blame for not being and doing enough.

However I believe that guilt in and of itself, like all emotions, isn’t bad per se; it serves a purpose by pointing to where I need to look a little more closely at how I’m internally processing messages from the millions bits of information that my unconscious has absorbed over time.

Recognizing that emotions are simply signaling us to notice something deeper about our experience is the key to understanding how to navigate this oft-messy life. ?

That being said, sometimes ego doesn’t want to let go, even after that lesson is learned, so that energy gets stuck, attaching itself to an old story or pattern on repeat.

In today’s video, I take you through a process that will help you release guilt and get unstuck from any unhelpful emotion that you no longer need.

Ready to shift your energy? Click play to learn how to release those stuck emotions in your life:

After playing along, I would love to hear from you! What message did your unconscious share to help you integrate and release the stuck emotions you’ve been carrying?

As always, with love,

Sabrina

Sometimes life gets messy.

Sometimes life gets messy.

Baby M in the NICU

When asked how I’m doing by friends who haven’t heard from me in awhile, I often say that I’m finally emerging from my cave…because for me, that was what the first few years of motherhood felt like.

I had read all of the books; my ego told me “I should have been prepared.”

But that isn’t how life works sometimes. Sometimes, the best preparation is simply practicing presence and surrender so that when sh*t gets messy, there is something deep inside that keeps you going.

Although I’m not ready to share all of the details yet, I will share that the unimaginable happened after my son was born and he spent his first couple of months in the NICU instead of with us at home.

It taught me that I have a lioness inside willing to fight for my child when the need arose, and I shifted to a more primal existence, one where survival ranked high and being seen and heard didn’t even show up in my awareness (or if it did, it was small and subtle, in dreams and passing moments).

Being in a cave was also a beautiful thing in that living in the present moment was necessary for survival; I couldn’t fathom thinking of what the next 5 years would look like when I could only see what the day ahead would bring.

I’m so grateful to share that despite a rough start, our son is thriving, and I equally thank the angels, my ancestors, and every single doctor, nurse and therapist who was a part of his healing process along the way.

Over the past several months, I’ve been hearing those whispers from my intuition again, the ones that invite me back into the light to radiate not only the messages I felt called to share before, but also to share a new one:

the world needs more powerful compassion for ALL of it, both the beauty AND the mess

Because life IS messy sometimes, and sometimes that mess can overwhelm us. And then we beat ourselves up for not “taking care of our mess,” but the reality is that when we’re in that space is when we need love most of all.

And so, here I am, emerging from my cave after learning to dance more gracefully with my shadows and those messy parts of myself I refused to look at before.

I’ve recommitted to the practices that changed my relationship to my own energy in the past and followed my intuition as I felt called to create something new.

And, in a classic “the Universe has a sense of humor” moment, the entire process was rife with mess.

The evening was planned out, our child was in bed, my partner in the director’s seat, and I was in my flow…only to discover after over 2 hours of filming that the sound was unusable.

And so I recognized the mess, gave myself just a moment to sit in it, then cleaned back up and went at it again.

The next planned evening was brutally hot, but I was determined to get the right lighting, so I set up the tripod outside and bought one of those cheap remote controls for my iphone camera so that I could coordinate the takes by myself while my partner stayed inside to keep an eye on our son.

Again, I was in my flow…until back to back airplanes flew right over the house for several minutes in a row.

So I sat in the mess, blotted the sweat from my face, and kept going.

Again, and again, and again, until finally I had filmed enough takes to *hopefully* ensure there would be something usable in editing.

And then, it all just seemed to click together.

The lighting worked, the sound worked, but most importantly, my message was strong and clear.

I share this with you to remind you that there is often a mess behind every finished product that is presented to you…but the fact that it is in front of you now means that someone, somewhere, saw that mess and worked through it anyway.

Messy journey and all, I am excited to share my finished product with you because I truly believe in the power of these processes.

It’s a 3 day video mini course called Chaos to Calm, and in it I teach 3 insightful tools from the world of hypnosis that will shift your energy, no matter what’s going on in the world around you.

You can access the course here – my gift to you, absolutely free:

Click here for the Chaos to Calm Mini Course

Because no matter how messy it all seems, we are the ones who choose how long we want to sit in it and when we’re ready to clean it all up and create something beautiful.

With big, big love,

Sabrina