How to Avoid the Happiness Trap and the Negativity Bias

How to Avoid the Happiness Trap and the Negativity Bias

Everything is Going to Be Alright Or Is It

I believe there is a shadow side to personal growth: it’s our addiction to happiness (or peace or wellbeing or…well, you name it).

In fact, when we embark upon a healing journey, we often create an unspoken expectation that everything will be on the “up and up” from here on out.

But to be human is to acknowledge both the joys and the pains of life, the light and the dark.

And that means, sometimes, we break down and cry (yep, just today).

We rage (ah yes, today as well).

We might even hurt the people we love (unfortunately that was also part of my day).

However, if we are truly being present, we don’t remain there; everything is impermanent.

Our consciousness gives us the opportunity to cycle back to our higher truth, even after honoring the not-so-pretty parts of ourselves.

On the flipside, our brains are wired to seek out danger; we have a negativity bias in place that makes it more challenging to see the good once we get into that dark place.

So how can we embrace both the joys and challenges of our day to day lives, without falling into the trap of becoming addicted to one or the other?

Click play on the video below for one simple process to honor the joys and challenges (without falling into the happiness trap or negativity bias):

I would love to hear from you:

Where is your deep need for “everything to be alright” keeping you from honoring the fullness of your life experience?

More importantly, where can you bring compassion to your experience to fully accept those moments so that the energy can move through you instead of get stuck in you?

Once you begin to consistently honor all the ways energy wants to move through you, you’ll feel more clear to hear that inner wisdom in all of its voices.

With love to support you through the ups AND downs,

Sabrina

P.S.

Curious about hypnosis? Go behind the scenes with my process as I guide Stas of Think Clever through a short trance during our podcast interview – click here to listen!

P.P.S.

Today’s message was a sneak peek of episode 6 of my weekly IGTV show “Soul Aligned w/Sabrina.” If it resonated, I invite you to click the below to join me on Instagram and get notified as soon as each new episode goes live in my feed:

@thesabrinabolin
4 questions to help you reach your goals (most importantly, your Soul’s Goals!)

4 questions to help you reach your goals (most importantly, your Soul’s Goals!)

Fulfill your Soul's Goals

Setting goals might be easy, but actually achieving those goals? Notsomuch.

We fail to meet our goals for lots of reasons, but often the issue starts at the very beginning with the nature of the goal itself; instead of a soul’s goal, most of us set goals based on our ego’s fears rather than our soul’s true desires.

It’s easy to get tripped up when it comes to goal setting because our little minds (aka our egos) tend to focus on what we think is important based on everyone else’s standards, which doesn’t always line up with what we really want on the inside.

Trust me, I know this all too well.

My goals for most of my childhood involved working hard at school to please my parents and partying hard right after to please my friends.

I somewhat successfully maintained this intensity and commitment to a “work-hard/play-hard” lifestyle until the straw that broke this camel’s back:

As a junior Business major at Pepperdine University, I finally got my first B…and it broke me.

In hindsight, I can see how ridiculous this was, but at the moment, all I could think about was one thing:

I failed.

I had a goal, and that goal was to always be the best student in class, no matter the price. I didn’t question this goal until years later, when that same intensity led to a constant level of anxiety and near panic attacks.

It was at this point that I finally woke up, and through my own personal journey with hypnosis and opening myself to a stronger relationship with my intuition, I was finally able to understand the difference between ego’s goals and soul’s goals.

Soul’s goals are ones that marry the being with the doing and the essence of what we desire with the clear and practical vision of the potential outcomes.

In honor of this high energy time of the year, when many of us wake up on January 1st with a sense that anything is possible, I wanted to share 4 powerful questions that can help you reach your goals (and especially your soul’s goals!).

Grab something to write on, then click play on the video below:  

I would love to hear from you:

What Soul’s Goals have you set for yourself this year?

And what came through your intuition when you asked yourself the 4 questions I shared in today’s video?

I truly believe in you and what’s possible when you set your heart and mind to it…and I know that there is a part of you that believes in it too.

Trust that the more that you tune in and you listen, the more that part of you that believes is amplified and becomes the part that is truly creating this life that your soul came here to create.

Here’s to a POWERFUL new year.

Sending big love,

Sabrina

Are you living your life purpose?

Are you living your life purpose?

Life purpose can feel like such a BIG and heavy concept, filled with the potential for missteps and regret…how can we live life on purpose when we don’t feel we know what that really is?

What if we simplified it?

What if our purpose wasn’t based on one job or business or relationship or choice for that matter, but rather tuning in and making choices aligned with our intuition as often as we can?

I don’t believe there is “one true path” for any of us, but rather a multitude of possibilities that can help us achieve what we came to achieve: to make our unique mark on the world by how we live and how we love.

Unfortunately, I feel many of us get caught in the trap of obsessing over our impact through the work we do.

Let me preface this by saying that I DO believe the work we do is important, but more important than WHAT we do is HOW we do it.

One of my favorite practices to gain perspective is guiding my clients to “conversations on your deathbed” (morbid, I know, but hear me out – and better yet, play along by clicking the video below for a 10ish minute meditation):

When you are on your deathbed, what kind of life would you rather look back on?

One filled with constant reaching, striving, and stressing?

Or one where you showed up, stretched yourself enough to grow (but not until you broke), and where you consistently returned to your soul’s wisdom and the things that really matter most?

Most would choose the latter.

Because this is it, folks, the ONE version of this life…I may believe in past and future lives, but they will never look like this one.

So where in your life are you operating backward, obsessing over getting it all right, and how will you commit to letting your SOUL lead instead?

State it, share it, and keep committing to it day after day after day. Because this is your life, and you deserve to experience your deepest joy and highest alignment right now.

As always, with love,

Sabrina

Perfectionism can be a GOOD thing.

Perfectionism can be a GOOD thing.

Imperfect perfectionist Sabrina in PJs

Where is perfectionism (or your fear of getting caught up in it) keeping you from showing up fully in your life?

On the flipside, have you ever thought about how the light side of perfectionism has actually helped you achieve what you might not have otherwise?

I believe every aspect of ourselves contains both a light and shadow side; we live in a world of duality after all, with two sides to every coin.

When we reject all aspects of perfectionism, we miss out on the light side of this trait that can inspire us to show up more fully in our lives.

In today’s 5-minute coaching video, I share a perspective that can help you shift your understanding of your own perfectionist tendencies (along with my own personal story of how I went from spending every morning putting rollers in my hair to leaving the house with nothing but pajamas on):

After watching, I would love to hear from you. How can you change the way you view this part of yourself so that you can feel a deeper connection to every aspect of your being?

Because I believe that it ALL serves…it’s just a matter of recognizing how.

As always, with love,

Sabrina

How to release guilt (and other stuck emotions!)

How to release guilt (and other stuck emotions!)

Sabrina Bolin and Dad spending a moment together

Guilt…ooo boy, it’s a doozy.

Merriam-Webster lists a few definitions for it, but the one I’m talking about is this:

feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy

As a mother to a nearly 4 year old child and caretaker to a nearly 80 year old father, I know guilt all too well; it’s that nagging feeling that I should be to blame for not being and doing enough.

However I believe that guilt in and of itself, like all emotions, isn’t bad per se; it serves a purpose by pointing to where I need to look a little more closely at how I’m internally processing messages from the millions bits of information that my unconscious has absorbed over time.

Recognizing that emotions are simply signaling us to notice something deeper about our experience is the key to understanding how to navigate this oft-messy life. ?

That being said, sometimes ego doesn’t want to let go, even after that lesson is learned, so that energy gets stuck, attaching itself to an old story or pattern on repeat.

In today’s video, I take you through a process that will help you release guilt and get unstuck from any unhelpful emotion that you no longer need.

Ready to shift your energy? Click play to learn how to release those stuck emotions in your life:

After playing along, I would love to hear from you! What message did your unconscious share to help you integrate and release the stuck emotions you’ve been carrying?

As always, with love,

Sabrina

Life is about the moments.

Life is about the moments.

Father and daughter love

Life these past few years has been full, in so many ways.

In addition to my beautiful and messy transition into motherhood, I also helped my dad move into a nursing home recently; it was a hard transition, but both he and I are grateful for so many little “assists” from the Universe along the way.

With a lot of time on his hands these days and a body that, in his words, doesn’t always do what he tells it to do, he’s found he spends much of that time on his inner world.

I believe great things can come from introspection; new ideas, answers to questions we’ve been pondering, sweet reflections on memories from the past.

But, as most of us well know, the thinking mind can also trip us up with its monkey chatter and focus on all of the things that aren’t working. For my dad, I can sense an old story drives his regrets, one that links his worth with what he’s seen as achieved in life.

Make no mistake, he has achieved a lot; his choices led him to create his own business with a heartfelt mission to teach english as a second language to people in developing countries so that they can empower themselves in the world market. But that business has since dissolved and circumstances have shifted so that the world around him can no longer see his “success.”

When I hear my dad lament about this, I hold space for the pain that feels real for him, but then lovingly reflect back to him what I believe to be true: that his life is worth so much more than any one thing that he has ever or ever will achieve.

We are more than our to do lists or anything outside who we are and the love we express.

This doesn’t discount any project or idea you are working hard to bring to life. On the contrary, I feel it honors it by recognizing it as a joyful expression of what’s inside of you.

So listen to that stirring in your heart to create, to show up, to do your soul’s work, whatever your work may be.

But (and this is a big but), if you find yourself sticking rigidly to your goals and find your worth has become completely entwined with your output, I invite you to step back to see the bigger picture.

We will never get there because we already are HERE…the now. This moment, the only real time there is.

I write these words not only as a love note to you, but also as a reminder to myself as well to keep my eye on the real prize: a life where I’ve followed my heart to create what’s within while embracing all the meaningful moments along the way.

With massive love,

Sabrina

P.S.

If you’d like a little support for your unconscious mind to more deeply integrate this message, I invite you to listen to the short guided meditation below: