Life these past few years has been full, in so many ways.
In addition to my beautiful and messy transition into motherhood, I also helped my dad move into a nursing home recently; it was a hard transition, but both he and I are grateful for so many little “assists” from the Universe along the way.
With a lot of time on his hands these days and a body that, in his words, doesn’t always do what he tells it to do, he’s found he spends much of that time on his inner world.
I believe great things can come from introspection; new ideas, answers to questions we’ve been pondering, sweet reflections on memories from the past.
But, as most of us well know, the thinking mind can also trip us up with its monkey chatter and focus on all of the things that aren’t working. For my dad, I can sense an old story drives his regrets, one that links his worth with what he’s seen as achieved in life.
Make no mistake, he has achieved a lot; his choices led him to create his own business with a heartfelt mission to teach english as a second language to people in developing countries so that they can empower themselves in the world market. But that business has since dissolved and circumstances have shifted so that the world around him can no longer see his “success.”
When I hear my dad lament about this, I hold space for the pain that feels real for him, but then lovingly reflect back to him what I believe to be true: that his life is worth so much more than any one thing that he has ever or ever will achieve.
We are more than our to do lists or anything outside who we are and the love we express.
This doesn’t discount any project or idea you are working hard to bring to life. On the contrary, I feel it honors it by recognizing it as a joyful expression of what’s inside of you.
So listen to that stirring in your heart to create, to show up, to do your soul’s work, whatever your work may be.
But (and this is a big but), if you find yourself sticking rigidly to your goals and find your worth has become completely entwined with your output, I invite you to step back to see the bigger picture.
We will never get there because we already are HERE…the now. This moment, the only real time there is.
I write these words not only as a love note to you, but also as a reminder to myself as well to keep my eye on the real prize: a life where I’ve followed my heart to create what’s within while embracing all the meaningful moments along the way.
With massive love,
If you’d like a little support for your unconscious mind to more deeply integrate this message, I invite you to listen to the short guided meditation below:
When asked how I’m doing by friends who haven’t heard from me in awhile, I often say that I’m finally emerging from my cave…because for me, that was what the first few years of motherhood felt like.
I had read all of the books; my ego told me “I should have been prepared.”
But that isn’t how life works sometimes. Sometimes, the best preparation is simply practicing presence and surrender so that when sh*t gets messy, there is something deep inside that keeps you going.
Although I’m not ready to share all of the details yet, I will share that the unimaginable happened after my son was born and he spent his first couple of months in the NICU instead of with us at home.
It taught me that I have a lioness inside willing to fight for my child when the need arose, and I shifted to a more primal existence, one where survival ranked high and being seen and heard didn’t even show up in my awareness (or if it did, it was small and subtle, in dreams and passing moments).
Being in a cave was also a beautiful thing in that living in the present moment was necessary for survival; I couldn’t fathom thinking of what the next 5 years would look like when I could only see what the day ahead would bring.
I’m so grateful to share that despite a rough start, our son is thriving, and I equally thank the angels, my ancestors, and every single doctor, nurse and therapist who was a part of his healing process along the way.
Over the past several months, I’ve been hearing those whispers from my intuition again, the ones that invite me back into the light to radiate not only the messages I felt called to share before, but also to share a new one:
the world needs more powerful compassion for ALL of it, both the beauty AND the mess
Because life IS messy sometimes, and sometimes that mess can overwhelm us. And then we beat ourselves up for not “taking care of our mess,” but the reality is that when we’re in that space is when we need love most of all.
And so, here I am, emerging from my cave after learning to dance more gracefully with my shadows and those messy parts of myself I refused to look at before.
I’ve recommitted to the practices that changed my relationship to my own energy in the past and followed my intuition as I felt called to create something new.
And, in a classic “the Universe has a sense of humor” moment, the entire process was rife with mess.
The evening was planned out, our child was in bed, my partner in the director’s seat, and I was in my flow…only to discover after over 2 hours of filming that the sound was unusable.
And so I recognized the mess, gave myself just a moment to sit in it, then cleaned back up and went at it again.
The next planned evening was brutally hot, but I was determined to get the right lighting, so I set up the tripod outside and bought one of those cheap remote controls for my iphone camera so that I could coordinate the takes by myself while my partner stayed inside to keep an eye on our son.
Again, I was in my flow…until back to back airplanes flew right over the house for several minutes in a row.
So I sat in the mess, blotted the sweat from my face, and kept going.
Again, and again, and again, until finally I had filmed enough takes to *hopefully* ensure there would be something usable in editing.
And then, it all just seemed to click together.
The lighting worked, the sound worked, but most importantly, my message was strong and clear.
I share this with you to remind you that there is often a mess behind every finished product that is presented to you…but the fact that it is in front of you now means that someone, somewhere, saw that mess and worked through it anyway.
Messy journey and all, I am excited to share my finished product with you because I truly believe in the power of these processes.
It’s a 3 day video mini course called Chaos to Calm, and in it I teach 3 insightful tools from the world of hypnosis that will shift your energy, no matter what’s going on in the world around you.
You can access the course here – my gift to you, absolutely free:
Click here for the Chaos to Calm Mini Course
Because no matter how messy it all seems, we are the ones who choose how long we want to sit in it and when we’re ready to clean it all up and create something beautiful.
With big, big love,
And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.
Be the Best: 3 simple words spoken with love that set off my life long journey to make peace with perfectionism.
I’m getting ahead of myself, so let me back up, oh, about 25 years ago. My dad had discovered the work of Denis Waitley at the height of the “success mindset” movement. Dad, who was a bit of an over-achiever himself, loved what he heard and embraced the mantra “Be the Best,” sending my brother and I off to school each day with these (fateful) words.
And so with daily repetition my young subconscious mind rooted that program in deeply, as I started each day of school with the focus to “Be the Best” in everything that I did.
I strived to achieve the highest grades, be the most reliable friend, and involve myself in the best activities and groups (whatever that meant). I was even trying to “be the best” with the party crowd, staying out the latest and partying the hardest, thus setting up the foundation for a work hard/play hard way of life.
And in many ways, I was the best, graduating high school and college at the top of my class and getting recruited while still in school for a lucrative and flexible marketing job in a large corporation right after graduation.
But perfectionism’s kissing cousin burnout was just around the corner, and I quit that “great-on-paper” job just 6 months into it, acting on a feeling that it just wasn’t right (thank you very much, intuition). Fortunately, the Universe took care of me, as it always does, steering me to a job in the world of travel just a couple of short weeks after leaving my first job.
And yet, as we so often find when we don’t get to the root of an issue, I found myself still dealing with the same problem, albeit surrounded by new scenery. I continued pushing too hard, never accepting that “my best” was “the best,” as the travel industry became the entertainment industry became the coaching and healing industry.
But through time and a deepening connection to my intuition and authentic self, I started to come to a greater awareness of the misunderstanding that was at the root of my perfectionism: that my best in any given moment had very little to do with what my ego mind thought it did.
When I really listened to my truth, I recognized that being my best was so much less about what I was doing and so much more about the actual being part.
This lesson has landed in an even deeper way in recent months, as I consciously shifted my energy to prepare for motherhood. Yes, you read that right – I’m going to be a mommy :).
And in many ways, my pregnancy journey has been truly glorious and beyond my wildest dreams as I open, expand, and embrace all that is and all that is coming forth. But it has also been one more beautifully intense lesson to reacquaint myself with what it means to be the best, with my ego accusing me of falling short of this goal as I consciously slow down in my business and life.
In fact, part of the reason I haven’t written in a couple of months is because I wanted to truly share the “best” version of my pregnancy journey. I wanted to wrap up all of my lessons in a pretty package and present it to you in all its glory, bright and shiny with a bow on top.
Thankfully I have practiced listening to my intuition enough to hear it speak up and remind me that to simply be here now is the fullest expression of being the best, so I switched my focus from trying to be something other than what I already am to seeing instead the magic in every seemingly ordinary moment.
Click to tweet>> What if instead of asking “what am I capable of?” we ask “what is the Universe capable of through me?” <<Click to tweet
The world is more than just what we achieve on our own; remembering that the Universe is here to support and help you co-create not only takes the pressure off of this perfectionist goal to be the best, but also reminds you that more often than not, you don’t need to DO anything for magic to exist in the world.
And trust me, magic is the very nature of our world, showing up in so many amazing ways, always revealed to us when we seek it. So nowadays I strive to gauge each day on this magic that exists, even in the ordinary, and appreciate the co-creation that is always sparking between my open heart and the world around me.
I invite you to join me; start with the simple intention every morning to “see the magic” and ask the Universe to “show you the magic” in the world around you as it guides you to be the best co-creator you can be in each little moment.
And then trust…yourself AND the Universe as you work together to create your perfect life.
I’d love to hear from you: what “ordinary moments of magic” have revealed themselves to you today?