how to return to your heart when you’re stuck in your head
The key to intuitive decision-making?
It starts with AND ends with your heart.
I had this beautiful realization – or should I say RE-realization – this morning, after reading my dear friend Kari Samuels’ newsletter, in which she breaks down the true process of manifestation (which has very little to do with what we think we want and everything to do with what our soul knows we really need).
Despite coaching my own clients to tune into their soul’s wisdom, I had gotten away from my own.
Case in point: when I first began exploring the idea of going to grad school to expand my practice as a marriage and family therapist, it came from an intuitive nudge – something I couldn’t explain was saying “hey, pay attention to this.”
And so I paid attention and took action, tapping into a sense of flow in my exploration. Although this isn’t always the case (challenges don’t mean you’re off track!), I have found that many times when we are in our flow, things just feel “right” in some sense.
Despite trusting that initial nudge and feeling that flow when taking action on it, suddenly the energy around it went from clear to really, really muddied the closer I got to the start of my program. How could a decision that felt SO RIGHT all of a sudden feel SO WRONG?
The doubt had crept in, and I began to second guess everything, spiraling not down, but rather UP, from my heart into my head.
This isn’t to say that I had left my head out of the equation before; on the contrary, I rely on logic and information-gathering to ensure that my choices are in alignment. Plus I needed my brain to get into the specifics, the details, the nitty-gritty, because that stuff is important too, of course.
But rather than allowing my brain to play the supporting role that it is meant for, I made the mistake of letting it take charge. I got lost and so stuck in my head that I completely forgot to return to my heart and my intuition to lead the way.
Thankfully, I was able to notice this before I went into full-blown panic mode, frantically changing the plan in an effort to “undo” all that had brought me to this moment (full disclosure: I came REALLY close).
After spending some time in quiet reflection, I recognized there were a few things that shifted my energy from being stuck in my head back into my heart:
1. Whether I am in a stage of life filled with struggle or one that flows (or most often, a bit of both), I actively commit to understanding what is going on under the surface. This usually takes the form of written journaling, but I’ve also found that making voice memos to reflect out loud can be surprisingly helpful! Ask yourself, “what do I need to know about this situation?” Then simply pay attention.
2. Cultivate a habit of mindfulness to get into a practice of noticing when things “feel off.” I practice both a short sitting meditation (most days it’s only 3 minutes at a time – very doable!) as well as taking pause throughout the day to notice what is showing up for me. I do this not because it always gives me answers, but because it creates a habit of paying attention so that when the insights come through, I’m available. At the same time, it allows me to be more present with all the feelings, while giving me the space to recognize that although they feel like everything in those moments, they are not the fullness of who I am.
3. Resist the urge to carry it all on your own and lean on your people; this is why we’re here, on the same planet, at the same time. Whether it’s with a loved one or trained coach or therapist, allow yourself enough vulnerability to say “I need help.” I am so grateful to have a supportive partner, amazing friends, and am about to embark on deeper work with my own therapist. Who are your people, and how can you lean more fully into their love right now? The journey is so much richer when we walk it together.
If my words today resonated with where you are, I invite you to take a moment of stillness and reflect on these 2 questions:
*Where in my life have I left my heart and gotten stuck in my head?
*How can I bring that energy back into my heart?
Trust yourself; the next right step might be closer than you realize. And then by taking that step, you can free up your energy so that it flows again, more easily, more balanced, between your head and your heart.
Sending so much love,