“Your identity emerges out of your habits…more precisely, your habits are how you embody your identity.” -James Clear, Atomic Habits
When I first discovered James Clear’s book Atomic Habits last year, my brain was buzzing; this idea that we behave in ways that are aligned with who we believe ourselves to be wasn’t exactly new information, but the book presented this concept along with others in a way that clicked both intuitively and intellectually.
Beyond the book, however, what became clear to me was how important it was to take it back one step; to actually examine who we really believed ourselves to be before trying to change our behaviors.
Of course, it turns out many of those beliefs are found swimming under the surface of the unconscious.
Hypnosis and the other processes that I use in my own life and in my client work can certainly help you dive into this exploration more quickly, but you can begin uncovering these insights on your own.
Here are 6 steps to determine the habits you need to align your identity with who you want to be:
1. Anxiety is an intuition killer, so it helps to start by bringing yourself to a more relaxed state (yoga, meditation, breathwork, time in nature – there are so many ways to shift down, so I invite you to explore and find what works for YOU!)
2. Your brain is geared to answer questions, so lean into that natural ability and ask yourself “who do I believe myself to be?” so that your unconscious begins picking up on cues
3. Recognize that the language that your unconscious speaks is images, metaphors, and archetypes and then pay attention to where you notice these within yourself and the world around you
4. Write down what you notice and begin to formulate a clearer picture of who you believe yourself to be
5. Invite in your intuition and discern if who you believe yourself to be is who you DESIRE to be
6. If who you desire to be isn’t in alignment with who you believe yourself to be now, ask yourself how would you show up differently to affirm the identity of who you intend to become in this life?
The answer to THIS question will reveal the habits you want to change to begin showing up more consistently as the person you intend to be.
The unconscious isn’t always as mysterious as we believe it to be; sometimes just a bit of conscious attention can help us see what we need to see so that we can ultimately change what we’re ready to change.
And when you believe in your capacity to become the person you desire to be and start taking action toward that identity, you’ll find yourself proving it to be true in no time :).
They are bridges that connect us to one another, but they also carry weight in the conversations we hold with ourselves.
Most of our self-talk is unconscious, based on the questions we have asked and stories we have told ourselves that have woven into patterns over time (some, empowering; some, not so much).
I was reminded of this just recently as I was graciously introduced by Nicole Lee in her Inclusive Life Accelerator to LaTosha Brown, an amazing speaker, activist, and truthteller.
In Ms. Brown’s powerful presentation, she led with a question that spoke so clearly to my soul:
“Who are you BEING in the world?”
YESSSSSSSSS.
All of our DOING is irrelevent if we aren’t first aligned with our BEING.
So how do we stay consistently aligned with “who we be?”
I don’t have all of the answers, but there has been one phrase that has come together for me again and again over the years to guide me back home to my deepest knowing (click the button below to learn what those 3 words are):
I would love to hear from you:
What words will you choose to shift the way that you are showing up for yourself and more fully align with who you are being in life?
Have you ever experienced a challenge in your life and then found yourself fixated on the question“what was the lesson here?”after it was all said and done?
Story. Of. My. Life.
As a self-proclaimed “seeker,” I have found myself asking WHY on many an occasion…but it wasn’t until I recognized the limitations of this simple question that I was able to uncover a new level of personal growth.
In fact, asking “why” can often contribute to our own suffering because it leaves no room for surrender…and in my experience, that’s when the real wisdom comes through.
Even though I “know better,” I still forget what I know –to forget is human, but to remember again is divine, after all – and this happened to me last month when I had a series of misunderstandings between someone I thought had shown up in my life to be my next teacher as I grow my skills working with energy.
At the end of the day, I have to be honest:
I wasn’t happy with the outcome and started asking WHY – what was the lesson here?
I found myself chewing on this question, coming up with possible “answers,” then returning back to a state of confusion.
And then I remembered:
Sometimes the answer isn’t going to be clear in my mind…but my body always knows what I need.
So I stopped asking why and instead asked:
“Even though this happened, how can I respond with more love?”
By awakening the consciousness within my body, I was able to release the “need to know” and trust that, on a deeper level, I already do.
If you are feeling stuck because the lessons you think you’re “supposed” to be learning in life aren’t apparent, I invite you to bring it back to your body…and let go.
I know life can feel like a lot sometimes, but no matter how disconnected you feel from what the lessons are, you still have the choice to surrender and trust…and with that, an even deeper knowing is possible.
With love, always,
Sabrina
P.S.
In a recent “Soul Aligned w/Sabrina” episode on my IGTV channel, I shared4 things to do when you get triggered and want to respond with love (you can check it out by clicking here). I hope the insights I share help you to recognize that every challenge is an opportunity to expand your heart and your capacity to love, no matter how triggering it might be.
Life purpose can feel like such a BIG and heavy concept, filled with the potential for missteps and regret…how can we live life on purpose when we don’t feel we know what that really is?
What if we simplified it?
What if our purpose wasn’t based on one job or business or relationship or choice for that matter, but rather tuning in and making choices aligned with our intuition as often as we can?
I don’t believe there is “one true path” for any of us, but rather a multitude of possibilities that can help us achieve what we came to achieve: to make our unique mark on the world by how we live and how we love.
Unfortunately, I feel many of us get caught in the trap of obsessing over our impact through the work we do.
Let me preface this by saying that I DO believe the work we do is important, but more important than WHAT we do is HOW we do it.
One of my favorite practices to gain perspective is guiding my clients to “conversations on your deathbed” (morbid, I know, but hear me out – and better yet, play along by clicking the video below for a 10ish minute meditation):
When you are on your deathbed, what kind of life would you rather look back on?
One filled with constant reaching, striving, and stressing?
Or one where you showed up, stretched yourself enough to grow (but not until you broke), and where you consistently returned to your soul’s wisdom and the things that really matter most?
Most would choose the latter.
Because this is it, folks, the ONE version of this life…I may believe in past and future lives, but they will never look like this one.
So where in your life are you operating backward, obsessing over getting it all right, and how will you commit to letting your SOUL lead instead?
State it, share it, and keep committing to it day after day after day. Because this is your life, and you deserve to experience your deepest joy and highest alignment right now.
An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
~Oscar Wilde
I spent 4 hours at 30,000 feet today, on a plane enroute from LAX to Pittsburgh to visit my man, and, with my head literally in the clouds, I asked my intuition what message to share next with my tribe.
My intuition, smart as she is, led me to pick up the in-flight magazine Hemispheres to thumb through while enjoying my Roasted Salmon Nicoise Salad (the magazine was included in the flight – the meal was not, but worth every penny of its 15 dollar price-tag).
As I was skipping through the magazine, I stumbled upon an article titled “The Upside of Unspeakable Ideas.”
Intrigued?
Yes indeed.
It was a short piece describing an annual “Festival of Dangerous Ideas” whose aim is to “shock people out of their comfortable beliefs” via “ideas that go against mainstream opinion.”
Although topics such as “In Defense of Flogging” don’t stoke my fire, the concept of breaking through our comfortable shells certainly does.
Sometimes we know too much for our own good…or rather, think we know.
The assumptions we make are often validated with our experience because whether we realize it or not, we are subconsciously seeking proof (the famous self-fulfilling prophecy at work).
But what if we adopted a beginner’s mind with everything, acting as if we didn’t know best already?
I began questioning my assumptions around what I believed I was capable of when I moved to LA by myself at 18, again when I embarked on a 7 year adventure in the world as an actress, and now as I show up every day ready to serve as a coach and healer.
I assumed I wouldn’t fit in in LA as a small-town girl from Oklahoma (breaking through that assumption by redefining what identity means to me), assumed only super-connected/super-hot/super-skinny girls got cast in films (breaking through that assumption by getting cast in several great indie films and eventually producing my own), and assumed that no one would be willing to pay me as a coach (I’m so fortunate that they have – and have experienced amazing changes as a result).
The more I realize how little I really know, the more I am open to embrace what I can possibly learn from the most unexpected places (that’s right Hemispheres magazine, I’m looking at you).
Over to you: What new and dangerous idea can you explore today that questions all assumptions you have around what is possible for your life?
P.S. In case you missed it last week, I announced my own dangerous idea – a FREE BONUS hour of one-on-one time with me throughout November (that’s buy one get one on all single sessions).
During these sessions, we get together and break through your assumptions and move toward new possibilities in your life…all while surrounding you with a ton of love and compassion.
Click the pic below to learn more about how I work and to get started:
Note: The free one-hour bonus sessions are available to anyone who books a clarity session in November; if you’re not sure if I’m the right coach for you though, don’t hesitate to set up a free 15 minute Discovery Call to find out by clicking here.
Dreams are a part of the messages the Universe is sending us day in and day out, and recognizing our dream meanings can help to guide us in the choices we make in life.
Nighttime can be a powerful time of learning, of absorption and pure receptivity, as it then that we are able to step aside from our busyness of mind long enough to see, feel, hear, experience the possibilities of what is being offered to us.
It is also a powerful time to meld our left brain insights with right brain creative thinking, and tap back into the power of our imagination to solve our hairiest problems.
I’ve always been fascinated by dream meanings, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized I was seeking interpretations and answers in all the wrong places.
I was checking out dream dictionaries from the library in the hopes that the duck (or the box, or the cross) from my dreams was the same one that millions of others were seeing when they shut their eyes to rest.
Although I believe in the power of universal myths and symbols, I also knew that there was a missing link and that maybe, just maybe, my own background, beliefs, and soul’s journey were shading my dream symbols so that they were unique to my own experience.
So I started on a quest to find a better way, and I came upon The Silva Method’s dream interpretation techniques, which gave me a whole new set of tools for playing with those little gifts from my subconscious mind.
Here is my take on those steps that I have adapted to understand the dream meanings in my own life:
1. Set the intention to remember the dreams
I have spoken before about the power of intention, but simply put, it is putting in a direct order from your conscious mind to the subconscious to pay attention.
This doesn’t have to be complicated (simplicity is one of my core values after all!), so just say to yourself “Mind, I’d like you to remember my dreams tonight.”
You can even state the intention to dream about a particular solution if you’re so inclined…and then wait for the magic to happen :).
Note: if you don’t normally remember your dreams, it’s totally ok if this step takes a few nights – trust you ARE dreaming, and that you can remember them.
2. Keep a dream journal next to my bed – and use it
Again go for simplicity – jot down a snapshot of the characters and action but leave the analysis for the morning. This shouldn’t take more than a few minutes – and if you’re lucky, you’ll slip back into a new dream once done.
3. Put on your Freudian thinking cap, and tune into what each symbol could possibly mean
Do this the next day of course – all dreams will feel crazy if you try to interpret them in the middle of the night – and use that intuitive filter of yours to write out the first thing that pops into mind rather than what you think it “should” mean.
4. Create a personal dream dictionary
This is a bit of a bonus step, but if you really want to get to know what your subconscious mind (and soul!) are telling you, you need to pay attention to how the symbols show up in different dreams.
You can just take a blank notepad (or even one of those address books with the A to Z dividers already built in), then write the symbol at the top of the page with impressions of how you feel about the symbol underneath. For example, you might see a snake and write “Snake” at the top of the page; to some a snake might be frightening but to others it might make you feel curious…or gloriously naughty.
Or maybe you instantly think of a “snake” in your life – jot that person’s name down and ask your intuition if it’s guiding you toward or away from him or her (your body will tell you usually with a feeling of attraction or repulsion).
Key: don’t judge it, just write it.
5. Repeat
Over time you will begin to see the recurring symbols and patterns, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, the answer will make sense. This happens quicker for some things than others, but trust that if it is important, it will reveal itself and the connections will become clear.
Of course, sometimes our symbols do have commonalities; for those, I stumbled upon this lovely little infographic to inspire your own interpretation of what might be going on in dreamland:
I’d love to hear from you! In the comments below, share one of YOUR dreams – and the meaning you have created from it.
I am a Soul Alignment Coach, guiding clients to shift from overwhelm and self-doubt to resiliency and flow so that they can create the impactful lives that their souls intended. I live and work in the heart of Los Angeles, but connect virtually with clients around the world.
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Anyone considering work with Sabrina should know that she will guide them to what their intuition is telling them they need...it was so refreshing to know that I have the answers; she was simply there to guide me and give me the tools to find them.
~Cassie Winterhalter
Sabrina Bolin
~Cassie Winterhalter
Anyone considering work with Sabrina should know that she will guide them to what their intuition is telling them they need...it was so refreshing to know that I have the answers; she was simply there to guide me and give me the tools to find them.
I’ve felt love from other people, but there’s something about you that is so unconditionally loving…the space that you hold that’s so unconditional and big and encouraging without being pushy…I don’t even know what I would have done without that.
~Rachel Bjornson
Sabrina Bolin
~Rachel Bjornson
I’ve felt love from other people, but there’s something about you that is so unconditionally loving…the space that you hold that’s so unconditional and big and encouraging without being pushy…I don’t even know what I would have done without that.
If you’re looking for someone to show you your own strength, guide you to your own intuitive wisdom, and coax you to trust that the Universe wants you to have an incredible life- Sabrina is your woman. And soon she’ll be your soul sister too.
~Ankati Day
Sabrina Bolin
~Ankati Day
If you’re looking for someone to show you your own strength, guide you to your own intuitive wisdom, and coax you to trust that the Universe wants you to have an incredible life- Sabrina is your woman. And soon she’ll be your soul sister too.
Working with Sabrina was momentum altering. She was professional, moved into the space I needed help, guided me through it in a thoughtful way and I came out of the session with her feeling confident and clear on the path before me.
~Kelsey Ramsden
Sabrina Bolin
~Kelsey Ramsden
Working with Sabrina was momentum altering. She was professional, moved into the space I needed help, guided me through it in a thoughtful way and I came out of the session with her feeling confident and clear on the path before me.
Sabrina is not only intuitively gifted, she is fun, funny, smart as hell, and brilliant with communication about exactly HOW to put her suggestions into action.
~Bonnie Gillespie
Sabrina Bolin
~Bonnie Gillespie
Sabrina is not only intuitively gifted, she is fun, funny, smart as hell, and brilliant with communication about exactly HOW to put her suggestions into action.
I just had a session with Sabrina Bolin and wow! I feel like the universal mother just gave me a hug and said “let it all out, you’re safe and I love you”.
~Alexis Pierce
Sabrina Bolin
~Alexis Pierce
I just had a session with Sabrina Bolin and wow! I feel like the universal mother just gave me a hug and said “let it all out, you’re safe and I love you”.
I was able to let go of my attachment to outcome...it was more important to move forward slowly, learning to understand and listen to the voice of my intuition and healing on a soul level.
~Merja Willock
Sabrina Bolin
~Merja Willock
I was able to let go of my attachment to outcome...it was more important to move forward slowly, learning to understand and listen to the voice of my intuition and healing on a soul level.
I was blown away by how awesome and inspiring our session was and feel like I have some clear direction on how I can best proceed in a way that’s true for me.
~Shawna McGrath
Sabrina Bolin
~Shawna McGrath
I was blown away by how awesome and inspiring our session was and feel like I have some clear direction on how I can best proceed in a way that’s true for me.
Sabrina gave me the tools, not to mention the courage to go after what I wanted, and in just a couple months I’ve already started achieving some of the things on my list!
~Ellen C.
Sabrina Bolin
~Ellen C.
Sabrina gave me the tools, not to mention the courage to go after what I wanted, and in just a couple months I’ve already started achieving some of the things on my list!
While the world around me continues to move along at a faster pace, I can lean more towards grounding, presence and zen thanks to my work with Sabrina.
~Jaclyn Mullen
Sabrina Bolin
~Jaclyn Mullen
While the world around me continues to move along at a faster pace, I can lean more towards grounding, presence and zen thanks to my work with Sabrina.
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I am a Soul Alignment Coach, guiding clients to shift from overwhelm and self-doubt to resiliency and flow so that they can create the impactful lives that their souls intended. I live and work in the heart of Los Angeles, but connect virtually with clients around the world.
