And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it. ~Roald Dahl
Be the Best: 3 simple words spoken with love that set off my life long journey to make peace with perfectionism.
I’m getting ahead of myself, so let me back up, oh, about 25 years ago. My dad had discovered the work of Denis Waitley at the height of the “success mindset” movement. Dad, who was a bit of an over-achiever himself, loved what he heard and embraced the mantra “Be the Best,” sending my brother and I off to school each day with these (fateful) words.
And so with daily repetition my young subconscious mind rooted that program in deeply, as I started each day of school with the focus to “Be the Best” in everything that I did.
I strived to achieve the highest grades, be the most reliable friend, and involve myself in the best activities and groups (whatever that meant). I was even trying to “be the best” with the party crowd, staying out the latest and partying the hardest, thus setting up the foundation for a work hard/play hard way of life.
And in many ways, I was the best, graduating high school and college at the top of my class and getting recruited while still in school for a lucrative and flexible marketing job in a large corporation right after graduation.
But perfectionism’s kissing cousin burnout was just around the corner, and I quit that “great-on-paper” job just 6 months into it, acting on a feeling that it just wasn’t right (thank you very much, intuition). Fortunately, the Universe took care of me, as it always does, steering me to a job in the world of travel just a couple of short weeks after leaving my first job.
And yet, as we so often find when we don’t get to the root of an issue, I found myself still dealing with the same problem, albeit surrounded by new scenery. I continued pushing too hard, never accepting that “my best” was “the best,” as the travel industry became the entertainment industry became the coaching and healing industry.
But through time and a deepening connection to my intuition and authentic self, I started to come to a greater awareness of the misunderstanding that was at the root of my perfectionism: that my best in any given moment had very little to do with what my ego mind thought it did.
When I really listened to my truth, I recognized that being my best was so much less about what I was doing and so much more about the actual being part.
This lesson has landed in an even deeper way in recent months, as I consciously shifted my energy to prepare for motherhood. Yes, you read that right – I’m going to be a mommy :).
And in many ways, my pregnancy journey has been truly glorious and beyond my wildest dreams as I open, expand, and embrace all that is and all that is coming forth. But it has also been one more beautifully intense lesson to reacquaint myself with what it means to be the best, with my ego accusing me of falling short of this goal as I consciously slow down in my business and life.
In fact, part of the reason I haven’t written in a couple of months is because I wanted to truly share the “best” version of my pregnancy journey. I wanted to wrap up all of my lessons in a pretty package and present it to you in all its glory, bright and shiny with a bow on top.
Thankfully I have practiced listening to my intuition enough to hear it speak up and remind me that to simply be here now is the fullest expression of being the best, so I switched my focus from trying to be something other than what I already am to seeing instead the magic in every seemingly ordinary moment.
The world is more than just what we achieve on our own; remembering that the Universe is here to support and help you co-create not only takes the pressure off of this perfectionist goal to be the best, but also reminds you that more often than not, you don’t need to DO anything for magic to exist in the world.
And trust me, magic is the very nature of our world, showing up in so many amazing ways, always revealed to us when we seek it. So nowadays I strive to gauge each day on this magic that exists, even in the ordinary, and appreciate the co-creation that is always sparking between my open heart and the world around me.
I invite you to join me; start with the simple intention every morning to “see the magic” and ask the Universe to “show you the magic” in the world around you as it guides you to be the best co-creator you can be in each little moment.
And then trust…yourself AND the Universe as you work together to create your perfect life.
I’d love to hear from you: what “ordinary moments of magic” have revealed themselves to you today?
There’s no destination. The journey is all that there is, and it can be very, very joyful.
A girlfriend and I hadn’t seen each other in awhile, and she suggested we meet up at the Getty to take in a little culture and a bite to eat, teasing me that we were truly growing into little old ladies who lunch at museums :).
I arrived a little early and had a choice between taking the tram from the parking structure up the big hill to the museum or taking the walking path that ran alongside it.
It was a hot breezeless day, and part of me wanted to take the shortcut, to sit down and relax in an air-conditioned box as I was carried up the hill, saving my legs for the galleries ahead.
But the other part of me wanted to slow down…to skip the shortcut and enjoy the journey instead.
So I began trekking up the hill and to my delight I was guided through a sculpture garden and onto a beautiful tree-lined path that offered an expansive and surprisingly enjoyable view; I must admit, there’s something wonderful about being able to look over the 405 freeway and be grateful you’re on foot surrounded by happy trees instead of in the car surrounded by angry drivers.
Staying off the beaten path gave me an opportunity to meet a lovely woman who was also venturing along the sidelines; we took the time to get wrapped up in a conversation around what we love most about the city we live in and sharing about the work that lights us up (both of us helping the world in our own way – her life as a lawyer and mine as a healer and coach).
By the time I reached the top and said goodbye to my new friend to meet up with my old one, I realized that taking the “long way” gave me the unexpected gift of discovering more about myself and my connection to the people and place around me.
So often we rush through life, with a single-minded focus on our goals, forgetting that the goals are simply anchors to guide us toward our expansion, but that real life can ONLY be experienced right here, right now.
One way to intentionally slow down is through cultivating a practice of walking meditation, and I invite you to try it out through the 10 simple steps below:
Find a private area where you can walk about 10 steps in one direction, indoors or outside (I always recommend getting out in nature if you can!).
Begin standing in mountain pose, feet body-width apart and knees slightly bent and relaxed. Keep your eyes open, but soft, gazing easily in front of you (no need to watch your feet; trust that feeling them is enough).
Focus awareness on the soles of your feet, feeling the weight of your body moving downward toward your feet and the physical connection with the ground beneath them.
Allow the left heel to rise slowly and pay attention to all of the sensations moving up from the heel to ankle to calf. Notice the gentle shifting of the weight to the right foot. Notice if there is any wobbling as your left foot slowly moves toward the ground, bringing the attention first to the heel, then mid foot, then ball.
Now bring the awareness to your right foot as you begin to slowly lift it off the ground, paying attention to those sensations you feel in the calf, ankle, and foot as you intentionally step forward.
Repeat this process using the physical sensation of walking as your anchor, bringing your awareness back any time the mind wanders.
When you reach the end, take a moment to simply stand and bring awareness back to the physical sensation of standing for a breath or two.
Then repeat the process walking back the other direction, slowly, mindfully, and intentionally, taking small steps as you go.
Continue walking for 10-15 minutes, varying the speed to slow down and speed up once you feel comfortable in your normal pace.
Once the timer has gone off, stand once more in mountain pose, bringing awareness for a breath or two to the sensation of feeling present and grounded, enjoying what THIS moment has to offer.
I’d love to hear from you; what was your last experience of consciously slowing down to enjoy the journey in your life?
It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.
One of our biggest challenges is forgetting not only our connection to the Divine, but that we ARE Divine, tapped into that infinite intelligence that truly does have all of the answers.
But even the forgetting is ok, as each time we remember again it sinks deeper and reveals a new layer we might not have discovered otherwise.
The discovery process can sometimes take us down winding roads of confusion, dredge us through the growing pains that we experience when in seemingly unchartered territory.
But other times, finding the answers can actually be ridiculously creative and dare I say, FUN.
Today’s Inspired Life Guided Meditation falls into the latter category.
The key for us as seekers is to step out of the constricted world that is black and white, all or nothing, and step more fully into the world of possibility, where there isn’t ONE right answer but many.
So get settled in and allow me to guide you to meet your Future Self, as you reconnect to the wisdom and visions that await:
“We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it’s our job to invent something better.”
I am ridiculously silly. I often dance when there isn’t any music playing (or maybe it is, but only in my mind), and I serenade my man with songs that are really just a string of words that flow forth from me when inspiration strikes.
I’ve always identified with being an introvert, treasuring my time alone; meditating under my big sycamore in the backyard or curling up with a good book and cup of tea on my couch are food for my soul.
So if I am both this AND that, who am I really? And who are YOU for that matter?
I believe one of my favorite fictional characters of all time sums it up beautifully:
If you sometimes feel like you don’t know “exactly” who you are, that’s more than ok…it’s human. More so, it’s not even that necessary in this human experience to solidly define all parts of yourself because when you do, you begin to “set in stone” something that is fluid and ever-evolving.
I believe your personality is here to serve you, allowing you to express yourself in this world in a unique way. However, I also believe that there comes a point where the labels we associate with that personality loses its usefulness.
So I created today’s quick 2 1/2 minute video to explore the limitations of labels and share how you can begin to honor all of the other shades of YOU:
I’d love to hear from you!
What’s one label you’ve been wearing that is limiting you in some way? And how can you express those “other parts” of yourself to redefine this label over the coming week?
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On New Year’s Eve this year, my dear friend and colleague Shari Alexander texted to ask what I would be doing for the holiday; first, I shared with her the image above, my DIY NYE Intention Setting Ceremony recipe that I had shared with my tribes on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and then I took it a little deeper in my reply to her (the below copied and pasted directly from that text conversation):
I’ve spent many New Years alone and they were honestly some of my best memories…granted I’m an introvert, but still, I loved that I was able to choose exactly what energy I brought from this year into the next. Since you have such a productive day, it will be perfect for you to wind down with a little ceremony by yourself if you choose.
Here’s what I would do:
I would cozy up with a candle, tea, and journal or paper (and possibly calendar if I need to jog my memory). Start with a little meditation to be open and clear, letting go the busyness of the day.
Then I go through each month and tune into all I want to honor and celebrate and write it out, perhaps even writing out “I honor _______” FITB, focusing on the essence. For example, maybe I’m not excited about my ending “sales numbers” but I did impact several new people, so I focus on the impact.
Then I would go back through and honor those areas where I still yearn to grow – such as grounding myself, learning how to stay consistent with my business, seeing where I resisted the work, nurturing my sensuality and sexuality. Again honoring these areas with compassion (and with minimal “story” – keeping it as clean as possible).
Next I would just let my imagination run wild – what vision for 2015 really lights me up, going through every area of my life.
After I’ve written out the vision, I would go back through and distill it down to the essence – sure, a financially successful business would be great, but what’s that really about? Then I would see if there are recurring themes.
After all of this, I would end it with gratitude and surrender – if you have a safe way to burn things, you can even burn up each page of what you’ve written, trusting that it’s being integrated and will show up the way you need it.
Let me know how it goes for you!
First off, I know what you’re thinking…dear Lord, that woman writes long texts! 😉
Then perhaps you might be thinking about how you could apply this to your own life, even if the official “New Year” has already passed.
In fact, I speak a lot about how NOW is the only real time there is, so I truly believe that there is no “deadline” when it comes to listening to your soul’s desires and taking inspired action toward the life you really want to live.
Have you created the space yet to honor your past and tune into your vision for the future? If so, what is the essence of your desire for the year that will guide you as you co-create that vision?
How would you like to immerse yourself in a powerful loving space created just for you, with a guide by your side to take you through these intention setting steps and help you interpret the wisdom of your soul?
For the month of January only, I’m offering 75-Minute Intention Setting Sessions at a special rate of $111 to do just that!
This includes intuitive coaching to help your conscious mind tune into the vision, hypnosis to affirm the wisdom from your unconscious, and reiki to seal it all in energetically.
Click the button below to secure your spot:
I’m truly looking forward to creating this space for you :).
Sabrina Bolin is an intuitive coach and hypnotherapist who helps the stuck get unstuck by teaching them to quiet the noise of the ego, crank up the volume on intuition, and take inspired action in their lives. She lives in a magical cottage with an enchanted backyard in the heart of Los Angeles with her hunky man and precious furbaby.